Small Things Matter – Training in Peace for War

The Occasion Myth

We tell ourselves a comforting lie:

“When crisis comes, I’ll rise to the occasion. When my family really needs me, I’ll be there. When it really matters, I’ll have the strength, wisdom, and courage required.”

We believe we’ll summon extraordinary character in extraordinary circumstances. But here’s what military leaders have known for centuries, and what Scripture confirms:

You don’t rise to the occasion. You fall to your level of training.

The Military Reality

Elite military units don’t train by imagining what they might do in combat. They train by simulating combat conditions until their responses become automatic.

Navy SEALs practice room clearing thousands of times before they do it in actual combat. Fighter pilots run through emergency procedures until they can execute them while half-conscious. Special Forces operators rehearse missions until every team member can perform their role in the dark, exhausted, and under fire.

Why?

Because in the moment of crisis, you don’t have time to think. You don’t have mental bandwidth to figure things out. You don’t have emotional capacity to be creative. You default to your training.

Under stress, you revert to what you’ve practiced. Your patterns—good or bad—take over.

The Spiritual Parallel

Jesus taught this principle in Luke 16:10-12:

“One who is faithful in very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in very little is also dishonest in much. If then you have not been faithful in the unrighteous wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches? And if you have not been faithful in that which is another’s, who will give you that which is your own?”

Let’s Examine This:

Observation:

• The principle is stated twice for emphasis (v. 10, 11-12)
• It moves from general (little/much) to specific applications (unrighteous wealth/true riches, another’s/your own)
• This is presented as an absolute principle, not a suggestion
• Faithfulness is scalable—it transfers from small contexts to large

Context:

• Jesus is teaching about stewardship (following the Parable of the Dishonest Manager)
• The Pharisees (lovers of money) are listening and scoffing (v. 14)
• This is about character formation through ordinary faithfulness

Interpretation:

Here’s the principle: Faithfulness in small matters reveals and develops capacity for large matters.

You see, you cannot skip developmental stages. You cannot be unfaithful in minor things and expect to be faithful in major things. Character isn’t created in crisis—it’s revealed.

How do you know what you’ll do in a major crisis?

Look at what you do in minor difficulties. Your response to small challenges predicts your response to large ones.

Application to Household Leadership

Let me get specific about what this means for you:

Small → Large progressions:

• Daily five-minute conflicts with your spouse → Major marriage crisis
• Routine financial decisions → Major financial pressure
• Brief prayers with children → Leading family through suffering
• Gentle correction of small disobedience → Firm discipline of serious rebellion
• Consistent Bible reading → Wisdom in times of confusion
• Faithfulness in spouse’s small requests → Faithfulness when she’s in desperate need
• Patience with toddler’s tantrum → Patience with teenager’s rebellion
• Keeping small promises to your children → Being trustworthy in major commitments

Here’s what this means practically:

How you respond when your toddler spills milk for the third time today is training for how you’ll respond when your teenager comes home drunk. How you manage frustration over a minor schedule disruption is training for how you’ll manage a job loss. How you speak to your wife when you’re mildly irritated is training for how you’ll speak to her when you’re deeply hurt. How you handle twenty dollars is training for how you’ll handle twenty thousand.

The Training Ground You’re Missing

Your household’s ordinary, mundane, daily moments are the training ground for extraordinary challenges.

This changes everything about how you view:

The small daily conflict with your spouse:
Not: “This is so petty and annoying”
But: “This is my training. How I respond here reveals and shapes how I’ll respond in major conflict”

Your child’s repeated disobedience in a minor area:
Not: “This doesn’t really matter”
But: “My consistency here is building patterns for when it really does matter”

The routine morning routine:
Not: “Just getting through the day”
But: “Building self-discipline that will serve me in crisis”

The small temptation you’re facing:
Not: “It’s not that big a deal”
But: “My resistance here strengthens me for bigger temptations”

Don’t Despise Small Faithfulness

We often think:

• “I’ll start being more disciplined when things get serious”
• “I’ll engage more deeply when my kids are older”
• “I’ll work on my marriage when we have a real problem”
• “I’ll establish spiritual disciplines when I have more time”

But this is backwards. The time to prepare is before you need it.

You see, Navy SEALs don’t start training when they get the mission order. They train before they know what the mission will be.

You don’t establish spiritual disciplines when crisis hits. You establish them now, so they sustain you when crisis hits.

Your Current Training Regimen

Let me ask you some diagnostic questions:

In the small daily moments:

1. Promises to children: Do you keep small commitments (“I’ll play with you after dinner”), or do you let them slide?
2. Response to minor frustrations: When something small goes wrong, what’s your default response?
3. Daily spiritual disciplines: Are you consistent in prayer and Bible reading when life is routine?
4. Small conflicts with spouse: Do you address them quickly, or let them accumulate?
5. Tone of voice: In ordinary conversations, what do your family members hear?
6. Financial stewardship: How do you handle small amounts of money?
7. Truthfulness in insignificant matters: Do you tell the truth even when it doesn’t matter much?
8. Follow-through on discipline: When your child disobeys in a minor way, do you address it consistently?

Your answers to these questions predict your readiness for major challenges.

The Practical Training Plan

Here’s how to leverage this principle. This week, identify your “very little” training grounds:

Choose 2-3 areas where you have regular small opportunities for faithfulness:

• Morning routine consistency
• Tone with family members during daily interactions
• Follow-through on small commitments
• Response to minor irritations
• Small financial decisions
• Brief spiritual practices

Track your faithfulness:

At the end of each day, ask:

• Did I keep my word to my family today (even about small things)?
• Did I maintain my spiritual disciplines?
• Did I respond to minor frustrations with godly character?
• Did I steward small resources faithfully?

Identify your patterns:

After one week:

• Where are you consistently faithful in small things?
• Where are you consistently unfaithful?
• What does your pattern in small things predict about your readiness for large things?

Choose one “very little” area to improve:

Make it specific:

• Not: “Be more patient”
• But: “When my child asks a question while I’m busy, I will stop, make eye contact, and respond kindly”

Make it measurable:

• Track daily whether you succeeded
• Aim for 6 out of 7 days

View it as training:

• This isn’t about that specific moment
• It’s about building the pattern you’ll need in crisis

The Uncomfortable Truth

If you’re not faithful in very little now, you won’t be faithful in much later.

Your current patterns—the ones operating in mundane moments when no one important is watching—those are the patterns that will emerge under pressure.

Character built in ordinary moments is revealed in crisis.

You cannot:

• Be impatient in daily interactions but patient in major conflict
• Be undisciplined in routine but disciplined in emergency
• Be dishonest in small matters but honest when it really counts
• Be unfaithful in another’s resources but faithful with your own

The pattern you’re building right now, in today’s small moments, is the pattern that will define you when it matters most.

The Hope

Here’s the good news:

• Every mundane moment is an opportunity.
• Every small challenge is a chance to train.
• Every ordinary day is building your capacity for extraordinary circumstances.

You don’t need a crisis to grow. You just need to be faithful in very little.

Today’s patient response to your child’s question is tomorrow’s patient response to their rebellion.

Today’s kind word to your spouse is tomorrow’s kind word when you’re deeply hurt.

Today’s financial stewardship of five dollars is tomorrow’s wisdom with five thousand.

Today’s small act of faithfulness is training for tomorrow’s large test.

Don’t despise the small opportunities. Embrace them as the training ground they are. Because one day—and you don’t know when—you’ll need the character you’re building right now.

Train in peace for war. Be faithful in very little, so you’ll be ready for much.